As Blue as Ice, As Red as Fire
by anime-freaksg
Summary: All choices have consequences...sometimes you'll just need a second chance to make up for them...(chapter 2 up!)
1. Prologue

Title: As Blue As Ice, As Red As Fire

Author: anime-freak

A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction.

Prologue – Consequence of A Proposal

Year 2018 

Time: 1800 Hours – Two hours before start of Tokyo 3 Senior High Graduation Dinner and     Dance

Locale: Residence of Ikari Shinji

Shinji's POV

As I held the blue velvet box in my hand, I felt sad yet excited at the same time. Like Yin and Yang, these two contrasting yet strangely appropriate feelings confounded me as I opened the velvet box to reveal a very simple gold band. I stared intently at the ring, considering whether had I made the correct decision…

"Oi, Shinji!" 

Startled by the voice, I closed the box and turned around quickly, attempting to find the source of the voice. 

"Oh…its only you…" I said with a strange mixture of relief and disappointment, which even surprised myself.

"What do you mean 'oh'? Is that how you greet me after all the care and concern I've given you over the years? I really thought that I deserved more respect…"

I laughed at her remark. "Fine then…Mrs Ryouji Kaji…" I said jokingly, trying to annoy her as much as I could.

A frown formed on Misato's face as I said that. "Hey! You know perfectly well I hate being called that…even though I AM married to him…" she exclaimed as tried her best to look irked but failed in the end as a warm smile appeared. "I see you're going to ask her today…"

I blushed slightly when I heard that but on the other hand, Misato had known about this from the beginning. After all, she was the one who helped me with the ring and had given me invaluable advice leading up to this day.

"Uh-huh…today's the day…Misato, I really don't know how to thank you…"

"Look, don't bother…I should be the one thanking you…after all, of all people, you asked ME to help…"

I grinned as I heard her comment. She was the closest thing I had to a mother…

"…but are you sure you want to do this…you know very well you'll hurt…"

As she said that, I felt my fists clenched and closed my eyes as I remembered about her…the heart I was about to break…

"Please, Misato…I know what I am doing…don't make it more painful than it already is…"

"…still…"

"Don't worry, I'll explain it to her tonight…"

Time: 2130 Hours – One and a half hours into Tokyo 3 Senior High Graduation Dinner and Dance

Locale: Tokyo 3 Senior High Sports Complex

Aida Kensuke nervously cleared his throat as he nervously stepped up to the mike. Today was his first time acting as the MC for a major event…at least school wise… 

"Ahem…Everybody feelin' GOOD?" 

"YEAH!"

"Does this place ROCK?" 

"YEAH!"

"Am I the best MC in the WORLD?" 

At this, everyone laughed as Kensuke smiled sheepishly, laughing along with the crowd.

"Well, never mind that…so anyone want to DANCE?" 

"YEAH!" 

Everyone in the hall cheered twice as loudly as dance music emitted from the music speakers in the gym. With the atmosphere in the hall livened up by the music, many started dancing with wild abandon to the music. However, of course, there were some more conservative people who decided to sit it out until the 'slow' music started playing. Well…either that or they didn't know how to dance…

"Um…hi, Asuka…" 

Asuka Soryu Langley turned around to find Shinji wearing a dark blue shirt with a red tie and long black trousers, making him look unusually formal. 

"Wow…I'm impressed to see that the idiot made it…I thought you'll be late…"

Shinji just shook his head and smiled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Asuka…" As he handed her a cup of fruit punch, which she grudgingly took, he looked around the general vicinity nervously, as if looking out for something. 

"Look, if you're trying to find the other two stooges, they're backstage…" 

"No…actually…I just wanted to ask if…" 

Asuka looked at him annoyingly as he stopped mid-sentence. 'Look, if you're going to ask me to dance, get on with it…otherwise…' she thought.

"If what, Shinji…"

"If you would like to dance with me…" he said quickly, looking away as he tried to hide the blush forming on his face.

Suddenly, Asuka broke out laughing, surprising Shinji and some nearby people.

"W-what are you laughing at?"

"I…I just thought…that I would…never see…the day you…grow a spine…" she said, giggling all the way as she tried her best to contain her laughter.

Hearing this, Shinji blushed even more, his face now positively red. 

"Um…yeah, whatever…so…um, will you…?" 

Asuka just smirked.

"Fine…you'll have the honor of having the first dance with the great Soryu Asuka Langley…but…you do know how to dance right?" 

Hearing this, Shinji's face fell like a brick. 

"Um…kind of…"

"What do you mean 'kind of'…don't tell me you don't KNOW how to dance…"

Shinji grinned. 

"Fine then…I won't tell you…"

"Argh! Whatever…just come with me to the dance floor, I'll teach you…and don't you DARE step on my toes…"

A couple of minutes later…

"One, two, three, one, two, three…"

"Stop mumbling under your breath…it irritates me…"

"Oops…sorry…"

Shinji and Asuka danced to a particularly slow song, enjoying each other's presence. Shinji, under Asuka's standard, had learned the dance steps pretty fast. As the song went on, Asuka unconsciously leaned on to his chest, enjoying the warmth emanating from his body.

'How I wish…that we could…just like the song…'

_Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo_

_Kinou no kizu o nokoshite ite mo_

_Shinjitai kokoro hodo ite yukere to_

_Umare kawaru koto wa dekinai yo_

_Dakedo kawatte wa ikeru kara_

_Let's stay together…itsu mo_

_(For instance, even though today is painful_

_Even if yesterday's wounds are left behind_

_If I open up the heart that I want to believe in_

_I can't be born again_

_But I can change as I go on_

_Let's stay together...always)_

The sudden change to a faster paced song woke Asuka up from her stupor as she found herself still leaning on to Shinji's chest. 

"Baka-Shinji! Why didn't you tell me?"

Shinji, once again for the umpteenth time, blushed. 

"Well, you were very relaxed…so I thought…"

"So you thought what? You must have been thinking some kind of Hentai thoughts about me…" 

"NO! I wasn't! I was just thinking…thinking about…" 

Shinji's expression suddenly altered to a more somber look, the eyes looking downcast, which Asuka instantly noticed. 

'He looks…almost looks kind of sad…' Asuka thought to herself. 

Shinji suddenly turned away, clearly avoiding her eyes as he started speaking. 

"Asuka…I…I need to tell you something…in private…"

Asuka became slightly annoyed at this. 

"Tell me, what can be so 'private' that can be said outside but not here…in front of everybody…" She raised her voice towards the end, attracting some attention towards them.

"Look Asuka, please…its real important…to…the both of us…" 

The pleading look in Shinji's eyes melted her heart, finally agreeing to go outside to talk. 

Once outside, Shinji led her to a nearby park, known to be a famous 'lover's lane' in Tokyo 3. As they slowly walked through the park, Asuka steadily grew more and more nervous. 

"Dang it, Shinji, where are you tak…" 

Asuka stopped talking when she saw Shinji starting to sweep fallen leaves from a park bench. When he finished he motioned for Asuka to sit down. Asuka sat down to one side, albeit a bit nervously as she saw Shinji sitting next to her. An uneasy period of silence began to form between the two when Asuka decided to break it.

"Look, Shinji, if you think you can just bring me here just to make fun of…" 

"No…I didn't bring you here to make fun of you or to do anything to you…hey, isn't the night sky beautiful…"

"Shut up, Shinji! Just get to the point…" Asuka said, trying to hide the nervousness she was feeling. 

"I…I am going to propose to Rei…"

It took a few moments for the statement to sink in as Asuka slowly grasped the meaning of his words. 

"You…you are going to what?!" Asuka shouted incredulously.

"Yes, you heard me…I am going to propose to Rei…I want to marry her…"

Shinji closed his eyes, not wanting to look into Asuka's eyes. 

"But…but…why Wondergirl…why her…I thought…"

"Asuka…I want to be the one to make her smile…I love her, Asuka…"

"…then what about me? Actually…I…" 

Shinji looked towards Asuka and saw the tears on her face. It hurt him to see her like that but he had to say it…

"I know, Asuka…I know that through all the times you shouted at me, all the hurt and pain in your heart…that…I know how you feel about me…" 

Asuka stifled a sob as she turned towards Shinji and looked him in the eye.

"Did…did you ever…love me…at all…during the times we were together…?"

Shinji turned away and stared back up into the night sky.

"Yes…there was…a time when I felt something for you…but…"

"…it was all in the past…wasn't it?"

"Yes…" 

"So…you're going to leave me behind just like everyone else…"

"No…I…" 

He didn't have a chance to finish his sentence as Asuka punched him…hard.

"Yes, you are! Just like everyone else…like Kaji, Misato…like momma…" she said, despite the tears.

Shinji tried to stand up, not bothering to nurse the bruise now forming on his face.

"Asuka…"

"Don't you dare SPEAK to me…BAKA! All that crap! You never cared for me…not at ALL!" She screamed as she started to run off into the night, not really caring where she really went. 

Shinji started to run after her but stopped after a few steps. He looked up, sadly into the night sky, whispering silently to the countless number of stars lighting up the night sky. 

"I am sorry…"

TBC…

Author's notes

Wow! Finally finished it! The prologue that is… Anyways, thanks to animelyrics.com for the lyrics of For Fruits Basket (That's the song in the middle…). Also, many thanks to my pre-reader Yap Xiong for his constructive comments.


	2. Remembering Part 1 of 2

Title: As Blue As Ice, As Red As Fire

Author: anime-freaksg

A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction

Pre-fic author notes: One reviewer posed a very important question in his review. And the answer is YES. Shinji has been dating both Asuka & Rei.    

Chapter 1 – Remembering part 1 of 2

Shinji's POV

For every Action, There is a Reaction…Einstein's theory of Relativity…I thought to myself later that night as I laid down on my bed. Admittedly, I was a bit…harsh, perhaps too blunt. I should never have broken the news to her like that…probably should have been more…subtle. But I knew it had to be done, one way or another, sooner rather than later.

Still…

Time: 2230 Hours – Half an hour till end of Tokyo 3 Senior High Graduation Dinner and Dance

Locale: Residence of Ayanami Rei

Shinji Ikari, now nursing a slight bruise on his cheek, adjusted his tie as he stood nervously in front of Rei's apartment door. Of course, this wasn't the same apartment she stayed in during the NERV days. After the disbandment of NERV and the sudden disappearance of NERV Commander Gendo Ikari, Shinji and Misato had finally persuaded Rei to move to a newer, more inhabitable apartment a few blocks away from Misato's old apartment.  

Now, you might be wondering what in the world is Shinji doing in front of Rei's apartment instead of going back to the Dinner and Dance. The fact is, Rei decided not to go to there because it was simply unnecessary…and she didn't want to have a confrontation with Asuka…

'Oh my gosh…I can't believe I am going to do this…' he thought to himself, fingering the velvet box in his right pocket. 'Okay, breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…let's do it!' 

However, before the former pilot of EVA 01 could press the doorbell, the apartment door swung open, revealing the apartment's tenant, Rei Ayanami. 

"Ayanami…h…how did you know…?"

"That you have arrived Ikari-kun? I was expecting you…and I heard you speaking to the taxi driver…"

"I see…well, thanks Rei…" Shinji replied, smiling sheepishly.

That was when he finally noticed the stunning light blue dress Rei was wearing. The dress effectively showed off her figure…and perhaps a little bit more. All he could do was stare wide-eyed at her. 

Rei, noticing Shinji's gaze on her, blushed slightly. 

"Is…there a problem with my choice of attire, Ikari-kun?" she said softly, turning away slightly embarrassed. 

"Oh…of course not! Its just that you look…very…beautiful…" 

With Rei still facing away from Shinji, he failed to notice the soft smile being formed on Rei's lips as she walked towards her coffee table to retrieve her handbag.  

"So…Ikari-kun…shall we proceed to the Restaurant as you have…requested?"

Shinji couldn't stop himself from grinning as he heard those words. Even after two years, Rei was still having problems changing her way of thinking.

"Rei…it's not an instruction…if you do not wish to go there, just tell me…we can go somewhere else…"

"No…the restaurant is all right…as long as I am with you…" Rei turned around to face Shinji, finally showing him the smile that she was hiding…the very same smile she gave him after he rescued her from the 5th Angel so long ago…

Now looking back to that day, I felt that it was those very words, together with the smile she gave me that night that reinforced my decision to propose to her.  

That night…was unbelievable.

For a night like this, location was obviously important. So, after careful thought I picked the Second Impact Bistro, the five-star restaurant on the top floor of the Hotel Tokyo 3…with some help from Misato and Kaji with the reservations of course….

And so…it was over after dinner coffee and tea that I finally proposed to her. The setting then…it was perfect. A slow song had just started…and would you believe it, snow had started falling! Even now, I can still remember the song being played then...

_chiisana shiawase o daiji ni atatameteta_

_nee, omou to mune no oku  konna ni itaku naru no_

_anata no me  anata no koe  subete itoshikute..._

_konayuki ga hoho ni maiori  namida ni kawatta_

_itsu made mo soba ni ite  kono te o hanasanai de_

_fuyu no sora  kirameku hoshi wa futari o tsutsunda_

_shiroi kata  shiroi iki  anata to kanjiteru winter wish_

_yorisoi aruita  umizoi no yuuenchi_

_nee, kanransha ni notte  hikari no machi miyou yo_

_tooku naru umi to awai kiss ga setsunakute...    _

_hajimari wa konayuki no ivu  chiisana sutori_

_dare yori mo aishiteru  kono te o hanasanai de_

_arukidasu futari no mirai  naranda ashiato_

_nukumori mo yasashisa mo  anata to dakishimeru winter wish_

_(How such small happiness is warming our important moment _

_Hey, inside this heart and mind, I began to feel such kind of feeling_

_Your eyes, your voice, all of them I cared the most_

_Falling snow pieces that rolling on my cheek are changing my tears_

_Forever be by my side, don't let go of these hands_

_Upon the winter sky, the twinkling stars is surrounding both of us_

_White shoulders, white breath, feeling you deeply as my winter wish_

_Walking closer together on an ocean-side park_

_Hey, watching a far from train that we rode, let's watch the lights of city_

_Far away from the ocean, and the scent of a kiss honestly given_

_The beginning of a little story on the eve's falling snow_

_The true self I've fallen in love with, don't let go of these hands_

_Walking our future together in each footsteps_

_How warm, how gentle, hugging you deeply as my winter wish)_

Now I look back at it and laugh. As I tried to open the velvet box holding the ring, my hand was shivering so much that I nearly knocked over my cup of coffee. 

"Ikar…Shinji-kun, is that a ring?" Rei had asked, her stoic expression unable to hide the look of surprise in her eyes.

I gulped as I nodded nervously.

"Yes, Rei…do you know what I am about to do?"

"…Yes…you are about to ask for my hand in…marriage?"

"Yeah…so will you marry me Rei?"

When I heard her answer…I went ecstatic. If I remember correctly, her exact words were 'I would love very much to be engaged to you'. I just hugged and twirled her around the restaurant, without a care in the world. Then, once again, she gave me that smile…somehow I've always felt that that smile was reserved only for me. Me and only me…

And I will never be able to see it again.

TBC…

Post-fic Notes: A bit shorter than the prologue. Couldn't be helped, I didn't want to elaborate too much on silly details during the dinner like what they ate etc…(If you're wondering, Shinji had Grilled Salmon while Rei went for a Caesar Salad…at least what I wanted them to have ^_^)

Thanks to animelyrics.com for the lyrics of Winter Wish (From Love Hina: Winter Special) and all my reviewers for your support…good or bad. 

Next Chapter will be an Asuka POV around the same timeline as this chapter. The story will be continued proper in chapter 3. 


	3. Remembering Part 2 of 2

Title: As Blue as Ice, As Red as Fire

Author: anime-freaksg

A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction

Chapter 2 – Remembering Part 2 of 2

Asuka's POV

What is this feeling? This…tightness in my chest, constricting my heart like a Boa… Could it be jealousy? No, I can never be jealous of her…together with him. Never... It's not jealousy…it's…the breaking of my heart, and my body is mourning for it.

At that moment, all I could do was run away. Run away from the park…him…and run away from everything else, just as I have always done. That night, I ran…to my only place of refuge.

Time: 2330 Hours

Locale: Several streets away from the residence of Class Representative Horaki Hikari

"Thank you, Touji…for sending me home today."

"Nah, it was the least I could do, you are my date after all…"

As he said those words, both parties blushed. However, thanks to the inadequate night lighting of that particular street, neither noticed the other's embarrassment.

"…you know, I enjoyed myself tonight…"

"Me too, Hikari. And…I've…I was wondering…you know…about…um…"

"About what, Touji?"

"About…whether you could…go out with me some other time?"

Touji blushed again and turned away, trying to avoid her gaze. Hikari just smiled.

"You know, its okay if you say no…I am not…"

"Sure, Touji. I would like that…"

"Huh? Really? That's GREAT...Yeah…"

There was this awkward silence as they continued walking under the somewhat dim light coming from the street lamps.

"Would you like to come in to my house for a cup of coffee or something? I haven't tried out the new percolator I got…"

"Erm…maybe not…I think you've got someone else to take care of tonight…" he said as he motioned in the direction of her home.

"Who…"

She didn't need to complete her question as she turned and spotted a familiar figure with bright red hair crouching down at the door steps of her house.

"I guess I'll see you again Hikari…" he said as he started walking back in the direction he came from.

"Wait…before you go…"

Touji didn't get a chance to respond as Hikari quickly gave him a peck on his cheek and ran back towards her house.

All he could do at that moment was stare back at the retreating figure and touch the part of his cheek where she kissed.

Later when he got back home, he cursed himself.

"Damm…I should have been the one doing all the kissing…"

All she did was take one look at me and she immediately opened the front door and led me into her room. That night, after a bit of hot chocolate, I cried myself to sleep in her arms as she comforted me.

I really appreciated it that she never asked what happened. It was only the next day that I told her the events that led me to her doorstep. Through the whole time, she sat down quietly and listened to me attentively. Only when I broke down again after finishing my story then did she say anything. I knew then, that we will always be friends, no matter what happened between us.

A few days later, after I went back to my apartment, I decided to go home. To Germany.

About two weeks later, after much packing, I stood at the now demilitarized Tokyo 3 NERV airport with two bags worth of clothes and essentials. The rest of my belongings had already been flown back to Berlin and were awaiting my arrival.

Time: 1630 Hours – 25 minutes till the departure of flight LN 1314 to Berlin, Germany

Locale: Tokyo 3 NERV airport, Terminal 2

"I…I…g…guess this is goodbye, huh?" Hikari sniffed as she blew her nose.

Asuka smiled sadly.

"Yeah…I guess so…but you know we'll always be friends right?"

Hikari grinned through the tears flowing from her eyes.

"Of course…and I can write and call you after all…"

"Uh huh…I am only a phone call away you know…"

They hugged each other in a tight embrace before both of them let go of each other reluctantly. Asuka then turned her attentions towards a less emotional Misato.

"We'll…it looks like you're finally going back home, huh? Just like you always wanted…"

Asuka shook her head in disagreement.

"You know I never really wanted to Misato…I'll miss you too…"

"Same for me as well…" Misato replied as they both pulled themselves into a similarly emotional embrace as the one Asuka and Hikari had.

"I am sorry that Shinji and Rei can't be here to see you off today…" Misato began when they had finished embracing. "They felt…"

"It's okay, Misato…it would have been harder to leave if I had seen them anyway…"

Misato just nodded sadly as a tear fell on to the blouse she was wearing.

"Damm…now I am getting emotional too…however Asuka, before you leave, I've always wanted you to know that you've always been like a…"

Asuka placed a finger onto Misato's lips, silencing her before she could finish her sentence.

"I know, Misato. You've always been like a mother to me too…except for the part which involves you drinking copious amounts of beer and getting drunk…"

Both of them laughed as they gave each other one last hug.

"Oh…and one more thing before you leave, here's something to remember all of us by…" she said as she shoved an envelope into Asuka's jacket pocket. "Keep it safe…"

"Yeah, I will…"

Asuka then walked behind Misato towards Touji, now shifting very uncomfortably in his sneakers.

"So you came too, huh? Didn't expect to see you here. Hikari dragged you here didn't she?" Asuka asked with an evil grin.

"Damm right! If Hikari didn't…" However, when Touji noticed Hikari's glare, he wisely choose not to complete that sentence. Instead, he grudgingly changed to a more neutral stance. "Well…I know we've had our 'disagreements' in the past, but since you're Hikari's best friend and all…I wish you have a good trip home…and forgive me if I don't want to hug you…"

"It's alright, I don't think I would want to either…"

Touji then extended his right hand for a handshake which Asuka accepted.

"Take good care of Hikari for me alright?"

"I will…"

With that, they let go of each others hands and Asuka walked back towards where she left her luggage. She sighed dejectedly as she picked up her bags.

"Well, before things get to teary-eyed…I think it's time to say goodbye…"

She let Hikari give her one last hug before she walked towards the departure area. After the customs officer waved her through, she turned back to give her sending off party one last wave. It was then, that she thought her eyes had spotted a certain brown haired teenager with a blued-haired girl. However, she lost sight of the pair when she blinked her eyes.

'It...must have been my imagination…'

Later, when the plane had left the airport, I gingerly removed the envelope from my pocket and opened it. It was a photograph of the lot of us before the Graduation Dinner. Hikari and Touji were smiling to each other, each holding the other's hand by the side of the picture. Kensuke was on the other side, grinning like an idiot in his tuxedo, with one of his arms around Shinji, who was smiling broadly at the camera. I, of course, stood proudly in the center, posing as gracefully as possible in my high heels, while smiling sweetly at the camera.

I went straight to the bathroom with the photograph clutched to my chest and cried silently to myself…

TBC…

Post-fic notes: Yes, it's been a long time since I wrote but hey, better late than never. It could have been longer but I felt that it would have been better and smoother if I pushed what was originally the final two paragraphs of chapter 2 to chapter 3. And Everyone please R & R. It's literally the life blood of us writers.


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